On happiness and appreciation

I’m happy.

Florida spring is here: the live oaks are shedding their tired and pale dark green leaves from the previous year and sprouting vibrant emerald replacements. Pollen coats my car. The longer days and more powerful sun darkens my skin. My little green plant babies grow in earnest, reaching for the sky and drinking deeply every morning.

This past week, I’ve woken up everyday at 630a next to a lovely partner. She accepts my weirdness and cooks me delicious Korean dishes, the food of my people. She cries while taking notes on a child abuse lecture. I love her dearly and look forward to our future together, filled with barbells and gardens.

I enjoy the opportunity to float in my own apartment, just about every other day. I can relax and unwind to the boundaries of consciousness. This small space, next to two busy roads, has truly become a home to me. Much of that is because of my partner, who adds her own touches through framed photos and clean bathtubs.

I practice jiu-jitsu and welcome the chance to choke someone out twice a week. Yesterday, I rolled with a purple belt who complimented my defenses, calling me annoying to deal with. Considering he has about six years of experience on me, I graciously accepted the positive feedback. Looking forward, I will compete on April Fool’s Day in Orlando, a few weeks away and something to look forward to while deep in the Step Cave.

I have 43 days until April 25th, my Step One D-Day. After finals, my schedule will clear and the hours of my day are mine to distribute. I look forward to this dedicated Step Prep mode. I enjoy focusing in on a single goal, with freedom of approach.

Next week is finals. The final finals week. Tomorrow, C7T3. Thursday, the Course Seven cumulative exam. I could bomb one and still pass this Course comfortably, a buffer for which I am truly grateful.

Last year, as a first year medical student coaching CrossFit and living alone in my furniture-less apartment, it felt like Course Seven sat at the top of a sheer cliff: how in the world will I get there? And now, with the goal in sight, I can take a moment to reflect on the growth and change that has brought me here.

Slowly, steadily, and with great appreciation, I await the end of second year.

Long Form Sundays

On Death Podcast

6 thoughts on “On happiness and appreciation

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